Score Chart
- 10 points for a hit.
- 5 points for a wish that didn’t come true, but there was some sort of consolation prize.
- 0 points for a miss.
1. The Wish: E.C.
Horror Comics Reprints by a Publisher Other than Dark Horse
Did It Come True?: Dark Horse comics recently
inherited the E.C. Comics back catalogue and has been re-printing them in
bastardized, digitized versions. As of today, Dark Horse remains in control
with more reprints of the “E.C. Archives” series in store for 2016. However,
this wish technically came true with the re-publication of IDW’s WallyWood’s EC Stories Artisan Edition, which not only wasn’t grotesquely
digitized but it was devoid of color altogether. Granted, this wasn’t exactly
the complete anthology of non-digitized, color, horror comics I unrealistically
wished for, but it is a technical hit.
2. The Wish: Beatles
Singles Box
Did It Come True?: My wish for a vinyl box set of
Beatles singles did not come true.
Consolation Prize? Beatles Inc. would not let a
holiday season pass without a major release, and we got one that’s actually
better than rereleases of audio that has already been re-released a bunch of
times: the video collection Beatles 1+.
It’s kind of nice when a consolation prize turns out to be the prize I should have
wished for in the first place.
Score: 5 (Less psychic, more lucky. The leprechaun is
still ahead)
3. The Wish: Rolling
Stones in Mono
Did It Come True?: Mono editions of the Stones’ Aftermath, Between the Buttons, and Their
Satanic Majesties Request remain unavailable in the digital age.
Consolation Prize? Nope.
Score: 0 (The slide continues)
4. The Wish: Stones
Sixties Outtakes Anthology
Did It Come True?: Yet another year without
non-bootleg releases of “Get Yourself Together (I Can See It)”, “Highway
Chile”, “Looking Tired”, that version of “Gimme Shelter” with Keith singing
lead, that version of “You Got the Silver” with Mick singing lead, and all the
other groovy sixties tracks that inexplicably remain in the vaults. Abkco is
just sitting on money.
Consolation Prize? Nope again.
Score: 0 (Neither psychic nor lucky)
5. The Wish: Who
Reissues Campaign
Did It Come True?: Bonus-tracks loaded, remastered
but not remixed CD editions of The Who’s original ten albums remain unreleased
in the U.S.
Consolation Prize? Geffen rereleased all of The Who’s
LPs on vinyl this year, though I’m not sure if these are the original mixes,
and UMe has been putting out box sets of their singles (at no small cost). No
bonus tracks, though.
Score: 5 (My psychic powers are slowly returning)
6. The Wish: “The
Monkees” Blu-Ray
Did It Come True?: A set that will gather the entire
“Monkees” TV series and the feature film Head
in hi-def was announced this year, though it won’t actually appear until early
2016. But since I suggested it would make sense to synchronize such a release
with the band’s official 50th anniversary, this is a pretty accurate
hit.
Score: 10
7. The Wish: Damned
Biography
Did It Come True?: For some reason, no one wants to
write the complete story of one of the most important and best bands of the
original punk era.
Consolation Prize? Well, maybe no one wanted to tell
that story in print, but film is a different matter, as this year saw the
release of The Damned: Don’t You Wish We Were Dead. I still have not seen it, so a home video release Wes Orshoski’s
documentary is among my most highly anticipated releases of 2016.
Score: 5 (Damned right)
8. The Wish: Star Wars Original Trilogy Blu-Rays
Did It Come True?: We still need to consult our old
limited edition bonus DVDs and VHS tapes to avoid seeing a laser blast out of
Greedo’s gun at a 90 degree angle, Han Solo step on the tail of the love child
of Jabba the Hutt and Porky Pig, and the vomit-inducing “Jedi Rocks” song and
dance number.
Consolation Prize? Another goose egg.
Score: 0 (Greedo 1; Han Solo 0)
9. The Wish: “The
X-Files” Blu Ray
Did It Come True?: Yep. The entire “X-Files” series
on Blu-ray is just squeaking into the 2016 release schedule.
Score: 10 (You will meet a tall, dark stranger. Named
Fox.)
10. The Wish: More
David Lynch Blu-Rays
Did It Come True?: Well, that plural (blu-rays) makes
this a questionable hit, but we did get a fab blu-ray release of Mulholland Dr., the very best Lynch film
that had yet to be released on blu-ray.
Consolation Prize? Not only did the original wish
(basically) come true, but a wish I didn’t even know I wished for was fulfilled
when Lynch and Mark Frost announced that they are working on a new season of “Twin Peaks”.
Score: 10/5 (Wishes and consolation prizes galore)
Final score: 60 out of 100 possible points.
Verdict:
More than 50%? Fuck it. I’m psychic. See you on the boardwalk, suckers.
