Review: 'Ferris Bueller... You're My Hero'

Imagine crazed Nick Cage as Ferris Bueller, popping his girlfriend Tandy, played by Meg Ryan, out of class so that the couple and their pal—the guy played by Emilio Estevez, not the girl played by Lara Flynn Boyle—can go to a depressing strip club. Ferris is also buddies with that druggie his sister—his twin sister, not his kid sister—meets at the cop station.