Thirty years ago, Robert Pollard’s Guided by Voices released
their first album. This year, Pollard released his—brace yourself—100th
album. Let that sink in for a second. That’s quite a discography for a
schoolteacher from Dayton. Pollard recorded those 100 albums with and without
GBV, but today, we’re just going to focus on his biggest claim to cult fame,
because even I could not keep up with every single release by Go Back Snowball,
Lifeguards, Boston Spaceships, Circus Devils, and whatever other Pollard side
projects have slipped through my grasp. Hell, I can’t even keep up with Guided
by Voices anymore, so you may notice that this list only extends to the end of
Guided by Voices’ first official run in 2004. Plus, anything later than that
violates Psychobabble’s unbreakable retro code. As you will see, there was
still plenty to choose from amongst the countless albums, EPs, singles, and
compilations released during their first two decades. As you will also see, I
am no GBV snob. I love the fan-fave lo-fi stuff as much as I love the
fan-loathed hi-fi stuff, so maybe you should brace yourself for that too. So
here goes Psychobabble’s very personal and subjective 100 Favorite Guided by Voices Songs!
100. “Land of Danger”
(from Forever Since Breakfast)
We begin our blatant doom trip with an appropriate number
since “Land of Danger” is the very first track on Guided by Voice’s very first
release. Or is it appropriate? After all, these masters of mixing their
multitudinous influences are really just aping R.E.M. on “Land of Danger”.
Don’t mistake that for bad news, though, because R.E.M. is awesome and Guided
by Voices supply one of the catchiest, most powerful R.E.M. songs that R.E.M.
never got to supply themselves.
While “Land of Danger” finds early GBV in unusually hi-fi
territory, “Perhaps We Were Swinging” swings on more familiar ground. Clearly a
Pollard demo rather than a proper band recording (a detail relevant to those
who subscribe to the theory that Pollard is not Guided by Voices), this tune
recorded around the time of the first GBV album is enchanting in its lonesome,
echoing texture and a rather beautiful early indication of what a fine
songwriter Robert Pollard is.
98. “Scissors and the
Clay Ox (in)” (from Suitcase)
With this Bee Thousand
outtake, we’re in true GBV country. With its British Invasion bounce,
more-than-Bob arrangement (Hi there, Tobe!), wacky lyricism, and
60-Minute-TDK-cassette-fidelity, the kooky yet totally accessible “Scissors and
the Clay Ox (in)” encapsulates the core sounds of Guided by Voices.
97. “#2 in the Model
Home Series” (from Vampire on Titus)
However, there is darkness to be found in this Land of
Danger too. Intense, minimalistic, incessant—“#2 in the Model Home Series” builds
to a psychotic mantra pulled from a serial killer’s marble notebook. “My
favorite son has found my gun. My favorite son has found my gun. And now the
fun begins, and now the fun begins, and now the fun begins.” It’s not all sunny
nonsense with these guys.
96. “Beekeeper Seeks
Ruth” (from Sunfish Holy Breakfast)
And here’s another mantra, but unlike the terrifying one of
“#2 in the Model Home Series”, the refrain of “Beekeeper Seeks Ruth” is
uplifting in both meaning and delivery. Soar away as Pollard chants “The flying
party is here.” As fine as the world’s finest paramount pyramid.
95. “Wrecking Now”
(from Do the Collapse)
Do the Collapse is
the most divisive Guided by Voices disc— the album that unveiled a totally
hi-fi band with a hi-fi producer (Rik Ocasek) and songs that finally sounded
ready for primetime. The album’s most controversial track, the Lennonesque
“Hold on Hope”, was even featured on the primetime sitcom Scrubs. Ex-fans who hate that track failed to recognize how its
subversively strange bridges undercut the power-ballad sentiments of its
refrain. Perhaps such fans find “Wrecking Now” a more agreeable ballad with its
infectious, descending arpeggios and Bob’s effectively emotionally wrecked
delivery.
94. “Hank’s Little
Fingers” (from Devil Between My Toes)
Perhaps Liz Phair is the only other pop artist as adept with
a childlike ditty as Guided by Voices, but she tends to crib melodies from
actual playground chants. Pollard’s “Hank’s Little Fingers” is completely
original, though you can imagine a circle of kids singing this sweet tune
together while hanging off monkey bars on a summer day. The lyrics sound like
they were written by kids too, and I mean that in the most complimentary way.
93. “Mushroom Art”
(from Do the Collapse)
Back to doing the collapse, Bob once again sounds in a weary
state that belies the sad circumstances of which he sings. Straightforward
sentiments of despair (“Living without you is difficult”) mingle with sheer
surrealism (“A bejeweled crow on a quilted tent; yea at the zenith, our dead
dreams awake”). Despair prevails, making the lurching “Mushroom Art” a halting
emotional experience.
92. “Kicker of Elves”
(from Bee Thousand)
“Kicker of Elves” probably sums up what the fans who balked
about the TVT era were missing. This maniacal miniature seems to thumb its
elfin schnoz at pop conventions by barely crossing the two-minute barrier with
a strange arrangement of acoustic guitar and kick drum and a lyric about
abusing Santa’s helpers. It’s still as purely pop as anything on “The White
Album”.
91. “An Earful o’ Wax”
(from Self-Inflicted Aerial Nostalgia)
Guided by Voices did not wait until the major label/major
studio era to go epic. Just dig that wailing wind-through-the-hair guitar solo
that finishes “An Earful O’ Wax”. The bonus psychedelic bridge in which Bob’s
voice is run through a Leslie speaker (or chorus pedal) is pretty fab too.
90. “Melted Pat” (from
Get Out of My Stations)
Another schoolyard ditty for deranged children, or perhaps
clinically maniacal Beatlemaniacs, “Melted Pat” is a tune that sounds like it
should have existed for decades before it appeared on the Get Out of My Stations EP in 1994.
89. “Wished I Was a
Giant” (from Vampire on Titus)
Guided by Voices begin the doomy, dissonant, and scaled-down
Vampire on Titus with an anthem as big
as “An Earful O’ Wax”. The pounding drums send Pollard into a Daltrey-inspired
shouting and hooting frenzy as “Wished I Was a Giant” reaches its gigantic
climax.
88. “Cheyenne” (from
Universal Truths and Cycles)
Big is also the operative word when discussing the scenic
travelogue “Cheyenne”. Bob’s voice and the mesh of chiming guitars are the
track’s most audacious elements, but the subtle bells that color the bridge are
also integral to its sublime balance of power and beauty.
87. “Chasing Heather
Crazy” (from Isolation Drills)
A masterful piece of large-scale pop that travels seamlessly
between its contrasting arpeggiated and strutting rhythms, “Chasing Heather
Crazy” is a prime exhibit of how much Bob is in control of his traditional song
craft.
86. “Esther’s Day”
(from Bee Thousand)
Robert Pollard has been Guided by Voices’ most consistent
and crucial element, but here’s some proof that he alone is not Guided by
Voices. Tobin Sprout is the band’s second-most prominent member, and his
delicate voice and way with melody is on gut-wrenching display on the exquisite
“Esther’s Day”. The second verse cuts through the seemingly random surrealism
with images of escape in flying cars, and the pitch Tobin hits while harmonizing
with himself make it truly transcendent.
85. “Underwater
Explosions” (from Under the Bushes,
Under the Stars)
Transcendence is also in the cards with the bubbly pop of
“Underwater Explosions”. Had this been released as a single in 1966, it would
have been a massive hit… well, maybe after a bit of a studio buff and polish.
84. “A Visit to the
Creep Doctor” (from Sandbox)
Having recorded millions of songs, it’s little surprise that
Guided by Voices have their share of excellent riffs in their catalogue. Perhaps
the most severely rocking one is the nagging, ascending riff that gives lift to
“A Visit to the Creep Doctor”. Kevin Fennell’s Moon-struck drumming is killer
too.
83. “Can’t Stop” (from
Sandbox)
Another forceful rocker from Guided by Voices’ sophomore LP,
“Can’t Stop” slips between attitudinal verses and hypnotically unspooling
choruses unstoppably.
82. “Skills Like This”
(from Isolation Drills)
While we stomp through GBV’s Big-Rock Realm, we cannot
ignore the metallic crunch of “Skills Like This”, the most sinister and
uncompromising slab of hard rock from their major label/studio era. I wish I
woke up with skills like this.
81. “Stabbing a Star”
(from Sunfish Holy Breakfast)
Rally the troops and hand them all 4-light-year-long
stilettos. Then they too can be like Bob and stab the nearest star. An anthem
for the impossible sounds completely possible when played with such fearless
vigor.
80. “Tobacco’s Last
Stand” (from Suitcase)
Then comes resignation. A lovely song about a weary lack of
communication (“You’re coming through like weird electric jive…”). It meanders
a bit. Pollard reaches for a just-out-of-reach climax. Then watch it all burn,
baby, burn.
79. “If We Wait” (from
Sunfish Holy Breakfast)
Then he dips into the closet for a second before popping
back out in iconic white gown and blonde wig. Robert Pollard said he was
channeling Marilyn Monroe’s “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” serenade when he
sang “If We Wait”, and there is a feminine, feline sexiness that offsets the
lyric’s despair and self-doubt. Perhaps he was taking a cue from his idol Roger
Daltrey, who’d often adopt bizarre poses when singing unusual material, as when
he pretended to be Burl Ives to find the right voice for “Happy Jack”!
78. “A Crick Uphill”
(from Hold on Hope)
A bit of Christian imagery from a guy who once said “my
religion is rock” (we belong to the same congregation, Bob). Is this a sincere
plea to the bearded magician who could turn a bottle of Poland Spring into Blue
Nun? That’s certainly a trick Pollard would appreciate, but I like to think
he’s just playing with words when asking Jesus to give him strength and blow
some life into him. The repeated refrain is as infectious as a dose of the
clap.
77. “Old Battery”
(from Devil Between My Toes)
The first track on the first proper Guided by Voices LP gets
things off to a rousing start both rhythmically and lyrically. “To heal you, we
have love. To heal you we have love.” A lovely sentiment.
76. “Sometimes I Cry”
(from Forever Since Breakfast)
Then walk it back a bit to that debut EP and GBV’s “I think
I’m R.E.M.” personality crisis. Again… so what? The stormy “Sometimes I Cry” is
the best track Mike, Mike, Peter, and Bill forgot to put on Murmur.
75. “Mix Up the
Satellite” (from Earthquake Glue)
Celestial dreaminess sits on one seat of the seesaw. Gales
of Who-like power sit on the other. “Mix Up the Satellite” wants to be both
beautiful and ferocious. It gets to have its star-speckled cake and eat it too.
74. “Girls of Wild
Strawberries” (from Half Smiles of
the Decomposed)
Inspired by the beauty of Bibi Andersson and Ingrid Thulin
in Bergman’s atypically heart-warming classic, Bob wrote a rapturous
cha-cha-cha every bit as sweet and sincere as Wild Strawberries.
73. “Christian
Animation Torch Carriers” (from Universal
Truths and Cycles)
On the other side of that “Crick Uphill”, Robert Pollard
seems to be questioning those who hide in that shallow hole that faith makes
safe. The track builds to a hurricane pitch, inspiring believers and
nonbelievers alike to hoist torches and Rolling Rocks in unity.
72. “Everybody Thinks
I’m a Raincloud (When I’m Not Looking)” (from Half Smiles of the Decomposed)
Guided by Voices began the final statement of their first
full phase with one of those throbbing anthems they do so effortlessly. This
track makes me so crazy I want to tear my hair out.
71. “Shrine to the
Dynamic Years” (from Suitcase)
Arising from a whisper and barely a sliver of melody,
“Shrine to the Dynamic Years” explodes into a head-banging chorus as catchy as
the shiniest Pollard pop. That chorus could be spliced onto the sound of a
lawnmower running out of gas and “Shrine to the Dynamic Years” would still
deserve a place on this list.
70. “Watch Me
Jumpstart” (from Alien Lanes)
An essential anthem for jumpstarting concerts and Alien Lanes alike. A rhythm that grabs
your head and forces it to nod in time. A chorus that demands you shout along
through mouthfuls of Milwaukee’s Best.
69. “My Kind of
Soldier” (from Earthquake Glue)
Bob’s lascivious gaze at a woman in cut-off Army fatigues
birthed a sweet song divorced from its somewhat creepy origins. I love the way
Tim Tobias’s bass climbs up on the track’s shoulders after each chorus.
68. “It’s Like Soul
Man” (from Under the Bushes, Under
the Stars)
Another contribution from Tobin Sprout, and “It’s Like Soul
Man” is as boisterous as “Esther’s Day” is placid. Tobe pushes his little voice
to extremes to shout above GBV’s soulful boom, and the effect is endearing and
invigorating.
67. “Shocker in
Gloomtown” (from The Grand Hour)
Like “Get Off Of My Cloud”, “Shocker in Gloomtown” gets its
hook from the drums, but the lurching guitar rhythms that drive the verses are
just as fierce. Bob also gets off one of his most grin-inducing lyrics in the
final verse.
66. “Useless
Inventions” (from Earthquake Glue)
As uplifting as a hot air balloon and as weighty as a lead
zeppelin, “Useless Inventions” is a smashing rocker with an unusually direct
and insightful lyric about our tendency to fill the voids in our lives with stupid
devices and doodads.
65. “Back to Saturn X”
(from Hardcore UFOs)
Heavier still is this bone-pulverizing riff recorded in
1990. That it is unusually long and repetitious doesn’t matter. You could
listen to it to Saturn and back and it would never get old… at least not for Ethyl.
64. “No Sky” (from
Under the Bushes, Under the Stars)
As we continue with matters skyward, there’s this expansive
piece from Under the Bushes, Under the
Stars. With its bright blue washes of guitar and Pollard’s to-the-heavens
vocal, “No Sky” delivers the opposite of its title.
63. “Hey, Hey,
Spaceman” (from Devil Between My Toes)
Higher in that sky whirrs the tiny UFO of a jolly spaceman.
Unapologetically catchy and cheerful, and packing a message of
simple pleasures and serious camaraderie, “Hey, Hey Spaceman” is pure joy (and
I suspect, the fruits of spinning The Byrds’ “Mr. Spaceman”). Let’s go!
62. “Redmen and Their
Wives” (from Under the Bushes, Under
the Stars)
While “Hey, Hey Spaceman” is as instantly gratifying as pop
gets, “Redmen and Their Wives” is the definitive slow burn, and it may take
quite a few spins for its gloriousness to sink in. When it does, its strength
and intensity are unshakable.
61. “Twilight
Campfighter” (from Isolation Drills)
A crystalline guitar arpeggio gives way to a swooning, free
floating rhythm that the melody dances around like sunlight glinting off of a
campground lake. For a guy who often gets called out for spewing surreal
nonsense, Bob once again lays down a lyric full of quiet desperation and insight…
60. “Quality of
Armour” (from Propeller)
…and then he taps into the primal euphoria of Rock &
Roll. Car songs represent escape and freedom, and Bob Pollard has written some
of the great ones, as we will see again much, much farther down this list. But
for now let’s soak in “Quality of Armour” and its almost idiotically rudimentary
yet universally accessible chant: “Oh yeah, I’m gonna drive my car. Oh yeah,
I’m gonna go real far.” I call shotgun.
59. “Bulldog Skin”
(from Mag Earwhig!)
Here’s another simple sentiment couched in deceptive word
salad. As its title implies, “Bulldog Skin” is about standing up to the odds.
It’s also Guided by Voices’ most upfront Rolling Stones homage. Notice how it
also quotes from the previous song on the list (and no, I did not juxtapose
them for that reason).
58. “The Hard Way”
(from Same Place the Fly Got Smashed)
You need bulldog skin when you do everything the hard way.
One of the most fresh-faced tracks on Same
Place the Fly Gets Smashed maintains that album’s grim and cynical attitude
but the fists-forward beat is inspiring and its chorus as sweet as a Rocket Pop
on a summer day.
57. “Drag Days” (from
Under the Bushes, Under the Stars)
Music and message lock in more obviously on the rhythm
dragging “Drag Days”. Yet it maintains GBV’s inspiring melodiousness and lifts
its gaze away from its shoes as it hurls into its hopeful and conclusion: those
drag days will turn around. Thanks, Bob.
56. “Indian Was an
Angel” (from King Shit and the Golden
Boys)
An exercise in how an indecipherable lyric can still
accompany an absolutely tear-jerking song, “Indian Was an Angel” is seemingly
nonsensical but so excruciatingly lovely it will stop your heart.
55. “I Am a Scientist”
(from Bee Thousand)
Bob’s statement of purpose. Rock & Roll is his science
and he is a scientist. He is an incurable, which is why there are so many great
songs on this list and so many others beyond these 100. He is addicted to
creating so much wonderful music, but he is also creating it for us. Thanks
again, Bob.
54. “Queen of Cans
and Jars” (from Bee Thousand)
A melody that sounds like the first phrase of every line is
missing skates on an infinite riff. Gorgeous lack of fidelity.
53. “Always Crush Me”
(from Alien Lanes)
Another incessant riff, but whereas the one that drives
“Queen of Cans and Jars” glows with high-pitched cheer, the one that clangs
behind “Always Crush Me” glowers and broods. As dark as Guided by Voices gets.
Bob’s bug-eyed delivery of the final chorus makes my eyes bug out.
52. “Sleep Over Jack”
(from Half Smiles of the Decomposed)
Guided by Voices dress up in flower-pot hats and yellow
coveralls and imagine how they would have sounded as an eighties New Wave
combo. Chris Slusarenko’s slippery, sliddery bass line is one for the ages.
Also “You’re gonna fuck up my makeup/you’re gonna make up my fuck up” is a
great line.
51. “Gold Star for
Robot Boy” (from Bee Thousand)
A deluxe toy robot busts out of its crate and rampages
through the room in a pop frenzy. We’re left dazed and confused, but with
smiles wider than the galaxy on our faces.
50. “Local
Mix-Up/Murder Charge” (from Same
Place the Fly Got Smashed)
The black, bottomless pit at the heart of Same Place the Fly Got Smashed. The
longest Guided by Voices track is unrelenting in its bleakness, describing
booze-blurred scenes of depravity and ennui. Bob’s voice goes from lifeless to
mocking to feral, and it is chilling. The electrifying conclusion.
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A rudimentary two-note riff and all bottles in the room are
hoisted. Guided by Voices continually prove that a band does not need high fidelity
to make anthemic recordings. “Navigating Flood Regions” is as huge as “Kashmir”
and on 1/8 of the budget.
48. “Lord of
Overstock” (from Under the Bushes,
Under the Stars)
Another great GBV anthem and one with an even more
marvelously dragging rhythm than that of “Drag Days”. Big Rock in slow motion
so you can really enjoy every note.
47. “Blimps Go 90”
(from Alien Lanes)
Bob paints a picture of some sort of bizarre turn-of-the-century rally in which chaps with handlebar mustaches and arm garters race
dirigibles with impeccable sportsmanship. A charming, brotherly song, and Greg
Demos’s violin contributes immeasurably to the olde timey atmosphere.
46. “Captain’s Dead”
(from Devil Between My Toes)
Robert Pollard loves The Who, and one of the best reminders
of this is “Captain’s Dead” with Peyton Eric’s Keith Moon-mania drumming and
Bob’s placid Who Sell Out-style
harmonies. I love The Who too and I love “Captain’s Dead”, which brings the
first GBV LP to a thunderous close.
45. “Office of Hearts”
(from Under the Bushes, Under the Stars)
Under the Bushes,
Under the Stars-proper ends with one of those euphoric repeated refrains
that could go on forever. Actually, it ends with two as Tobe churns out “He
sits down and circulates” while Bob lays over “Come feel the softest parts, the
office of hearts.” A perfect finale to a great, great album (at least until we
get to those amazing bonus tracks).
44. “How Loft I Am?”
(from Same Place the Fly Got Smashed)
The bitterest GBV album ends with one of the sweetest GBV
tracks. The distraught drunk of Same
Place the Fly Got Smashed finally hits rock bottom... then lifts off to the
Great Celestial Resting Place in the Sky, elevated on the angelic wings of this
Buddy Holly-indebted gem.
43. “Huffman Prairie
Flying Field” (from Half Smiles of
the Decomposed)
And yet another final track, and one that was to draw the
curtain on Guided by Voices’ career when it finished Half Smiles of the Decomposed. Perhaps it is this distinction that
always affects me so much when I hear “Huffman Prairie Flying Field”, because
despite the fact that Guided by Voices had since returned in full force, I
still get choked up whenever I hear that final round of “Before too long…” An
emotion-grabbing end of an era.
42. “Cut Out Witch”
(from Under the Bushes, Under the Stars)
Can a riff be evil? There is something insidious in the way
that descending three-note lick enters, gradually speeding up to a demonic
frenzy as “Cut Out Witch” races into its fang-baring chorus. Was witchcraft
used to conjure something so evil? I’d like to think so.
41. “Echos Myron”
(from Bee Thousand)
From the terror of a Halloween night to the brilliant joy of
unwrapping a new toy on Christmas morning. Had The Beatles started taking acid
in 1963, they probably would have included something like “Echos Myron” on
their second album. Shit yeah, that’s cool.
40. “Big School” (from
Static Airplane Jive)
Don’t blame me. Blame GBV for forcing me to overuse the
words “anthem” and “anthemic.” Sometimes there’s no getting around that word
when the band populates their endless discography with tracks like “Watch Me
Jumsptart”, “Navigating Flood Regions”, and “Big School”. This one is an anthem
for pep rallies and Rock & Roll High
School-style school detonations alike.
39. “I Can See It in
Your Eyes” (from Suitcase)
With its roiling rhythms, syrupy harmonies, and angelic
“Bah, bah” choruses, “I Can See It in Your Eyes” recalls The Who at their
sweetest. Think of it as GBV’s “So Sad About Us”, which sounds pretty marvelous
to me.
38. “Weed King” (from
Propeller)
Then think a bit on “Weed King”. Consider its air of
pot-wreaking denim, its atmosphere of a late-night D&D session, its
lighters-aloft Laserarium climax. “Weed King” is like a two minute, forty-second
distillation of the geekiest, freakiest seventies signifiers. The way Bob’s
voice drops in pitch at the end of the track will make you feel like you just
took a couple hits of Orange Sunshine at a Yes concert.
37. “Dragons Awake!”
(from Do the Collapse)
More geeky sorcery is afoot in the beautiful “Dragon’s
Awake”. Strings glide over a heartily strummed guitar while Bob does his
impression of Paul McCartney singing excerpts from a psychotic’s mash note.
Softer tits will greet you, indeed.
36. “Dodging
Invisible Rays” (from Tigerbomb)
More elatedly spinning than a merry-go-round, “Dodging
Invisible Rays” is as intoxicating, as love-inspiring as pop gets. If I ran
into Tobin Sprout after hearing this song, I would not be able to restrain
myself from throwing my arms around him.
35. “Exit Flagger”
(from Propeller)
Bob’s sloppy drumming does nothing to hold back the
uncontainable thrust of this Rock & Roll racer. It’s like a Formula One car
blasting off the track and jetting to the moon.
34. “Little Lines”
(from Mag Earwhig!)
Let’s keep that high going with this gnarly head banger busting
with mullet-headed, devil-horn-waving attitude. If all metal sounded half as
fierce as “Little Lines”, I’d like metal a lot more.
33. “My Son Cool”
(from Alien Lanes)
“My Son Cool” would be a bracing track under any
circumstances, but knowing that Bob wrote it as a valentine to his own son
makes it 100 times more affecting.
32. “My Impression
Now” (from Fast Japanese Spin Cycles)
Bob fights to formulate his own philosophy amidst a hail of
unworkable and unrealistic ideas and creates one of the key Guided by Voices
concert staples. “My Impression now” is a flawless piece of power pop… and the
band buried it on an EP very few people have ever heard! That there is evidence
of an abundance of quality material.
31. “Chief Barrel
Belly” (from Self-Inflicted Aerial
Nostalgia)
More metal GBV style. On “Chief Barrel Belly”, they channel
the plodding power of Black Sabbath on the verses, while the chorus has a
standing-on-the-edge-of-a-cliff-wailing-on-a-Les-Paul majesty that is less easy
to trace to a specific source. It is thrilling though.
30. “Strumpet Eye”
(from Do the Collapse)
Nonsense and extreme tunefulness collide into a ball of
irresistible power pop. Terrifically chirpy background vocals and massive might
whenever the bass and drums kick in.
29. “Secret Star”
(from Earthquake Glue)
Another rare GBV epic, “Secret Star” twists and winds
mercurially nearly to the five minute mark. It is an enchanting patchwork of
elements: a forceful cha-cha rhythm, celestial imagery, a lengthy breakdown
sprinkled with glittering cosmic debris, and a whipping of chords that takes us through the
show-stopping conclusion.
28. “Perch Warble”
(from Suitcase 2)
Some riffs are so perfect they don’t need more two notes. “Perch
Warble” is a chugging rocker available in a lo-fi version on the first Suitcase box and a slightly less lo-fi yet speedier version on the second
Suitcase. Both will get your neck
nodding in time, but I think I prefer the sequel.
27. “Fair Touching”
(from Isolation Drills)
Guided by Voices bash out an eardrum-shredding jangle on the
enveloping opening track of Isolation
Drills. Maybe they repeat the chorus a few too many times. If you’d ever
written a chorus like this one, you wouldn’t know when to stop playing it
either.
26. “I Am a Tree”
(from Mag Earwhig!)
Doug Gillard gets to slip a track onto his first album with
Guided by Voices and ends up contributing what may be the most popular thing on
Mag Earwhig! Yes, the metaphor is a
tad heavy handed and certainly not the kind of thing Bob would have written,
but few pop songs will get under your bark like “I Am a Tree”.
25. “Dorothy’s a
Planet” (from Suitcase)
I can picture Pollard sitting at the edge of his bed with
nothing but his acoustic guitar, a cheap Tascam, and some lyrics scrawled on a
piece of note paper. I imagine he then tossed the tape on a pile with all of
the other songs he’d written that day, leaving “Dorothy’s a Planet” there until
he finally dusted it off for inclusion on Suitcase,
like an archaeologist digging up a rare, exquisite, yet roughhewn gem.
25. “Things I Will
Keep” (from Do the Collapse)
If Peter Gabriel-era Genesis tried to write a compact,
catchy, Beatlesque-pop number, they may have created something similar to
“Things I Will Keep”. If that doesn’t sound appealing to you, you probably
won’t like Guided by Voices at all and your name most certainly is not Robert
Pollard.
23. “Chicken Blows”
(from Alien Lanes)
If The Beatles tried to write a song after taking sixty hits
of acid, they probably would have created something similar to “Chicken Blows”.
Despite a title that sounds like some sort of disgusting, poultry-based method
of vomiting, this track is a magical, beautiful, and very warped psychedelic
ballad. The “oh, la-la-las” are so Beatlesque I’m always sure that there is an
actual Beatles song with the same exact kind of “oh, la la la’s,” but there
isn’t. Bob beat them too it.
23. “Buzzards and
Dreadful Crows” (from Bee Thousand)
Pollard’s miniature monster movie. He blasts flames from eye
sockets emptied by the title birds’ beaks. Guided by Voices’ slam out a
metallic horror show behind him. As galvanizing as the Frankenstein Monster
getting blasted in the electrodes.
21. “Surgical Focus”
(from Do the Collapse)
More mad science is at work on this velvety pop procedure
from Do the Collapse. All the
drifting bliss of a heavy dose of anesthesia without any of the risk of croaking
on the table.
20. “The Closets of Henry” (from Half Smiles of the Decomposed)
Strap your bones to something solid, because there are about
to have the marrow rattled out of them. One of Guided by Voices’ most
shattering Who tributes appeared on their “final” album, and it is as
existentially stirring as anything on Quadrophenia.
19. “Game of Pricks (7”
Version)” (from Tigerbomb)
A lo-fi to hi-fi transformation does no disservice to one of
the catchiest nuggets on Alien Lanes.
A candy shell of sweet melody and crisp production contain a bitter core that
blasts liars and knife-wielding pricks.
18. “Glad Girls” (from
Isolation Drills)
Robert Pollard constructs a chorus as solid as the
foundation of the Empire State Building and hammers it home without respite.
Guided by Voices at their bounciest and their lustiest.
17. “Closer You Are”
(from Alien Lanes)
The way Bob rolls that tongue-twisting opening lyrics off
his tongue with effortless aplomb is irresistible. So is the rest of this
biting sing-along.
16. “When She Turns
50” (from Same Place the Fly Got
Smashed)
So far we have heard numerous examples of what a superior
pop songsmith Robert Pollard is. “When She Turns 50” suggests that there is
something even finer at work in the mind of that middle-aged ex-elementary
school teacher. With its fluid, complex, almost jazz-like chord phrasing, complimentary
melody, and evocative and poetic lyric, “When She Turns 50” could have been a
standard in the Cole Porter sense. This is masterful, moving songwriting. Period.
15. “My Valuable
Hunting Knife (7” Version)” (from Tigerbomb)
But let’s not diminish the impact of a great old pop song
too much. Like “Game of Pricks”, “My Valuable Hunting Knife” is another simple
yet magnificently conceived Alien Lanes
number that gets extra lift from its high-gloss presentation on the Tigerbomb EP. Wrist restraints will not
keep you from clapping along.
14. “Smothered in
Hugs” (from Bee Thousand)
With their little four-track cassette recorder, Guided by
Voices create the sound of the Earth collapsing below your feet. A smothering,
overwhelming noise engulfs Pollard’s sneering vocal. It’s like being
bear-hugged by sound. In mono.
13. “Over the
Neptune/Mesh Gear Fox” (from Propeller)
Now the concert kicks into high gear. The crowd chants for
their favorite band. The band promises to rock, then reneges, then delivers on
the original promise ten-fold. “Over the Neptune” is big stadium rock— Wings’
“Rock Show” updated for 1992. Then the flaming stage lights dim, lasers sweep
over the crowd, illuminating the tufts of fragrant smoke floating overhead.
“Mesh Gear Fox” slows the show to a trippy crawl, and you can practically hear
the fans oohing and ahhing in bloodshot concurrence.
12. “Sensational
Gravity Boy (Refraze)” (from Briefcase)
Jesus, what were those guys thinking? They didn’t even put
this sensational Under the Bushes
outtake on the widely available Suitcase!
You had to dig up the limited-edition distillation Briefcase to hear one of GBV’s most enthralling poppers… and Kim
Deal chiming in under the sensational chorus.
11. “Pendulum” (from
Same Place the Fly Got Smashed)
The poppiest thing on Same
Place is not spared that album’s desolation. Bob reaches a crazed peak with
his out-of-range vocal (the arduous recoding of which was captured on video and
patched into the fascinating “documentary” Some
Drinking Implied). The bittersweet flavor is as rich and intoxicating as
dark-chocolate floating in grain alcohol.
10. “As We Go Up, We
Go Down” (from Alien Lanes)
Another perfect blend of darkness and light—an imminently
hummable tune tarted up with one of Pollard’s most misanthropic lines (“I speak
in monotone, leave my fucking life alone”). The loping rhythm lifts you up and
drags you down. The concluding chorus should loop forever.
9. “I’ll Replace You
with Machines” (from Earthquake Glue)
Another overwhelming production, but one that comes from the
band’s pro-studio phase rather than the on-the-cheap era of “Smothered in
Hugs”. Todd Tobias brings life to the grinding gears and puffing steam valves
the lyric suggests. Bob’s touching solo-voice-and-guitar demo uncovers the
beautiful song underneath the industrial din.
8. “Harboring Exiles”
(from Hardcore UFOs)
This Self-Inflected
Aerial Nostalgia outtake had to wait more than a decade for release, coming
out in 2003 on Hardcore UFOs. Perhaps
this rubbery piece of power pop perfection wasn’t released in 1989 because it
sounds too much like the biggest hit of 1965 that never was.
7. “Taco, Buffalo,
Birddog, and Jesus” (from Suitcase)
GBV recorded the dreamy and moving “Taco, Buffalo, Birddog,
and Jesus” for the scrapped Learning to
Hunt album, and while lesser songs like “The Qualifying Remainder” and
“Slopes of Big Ugly” didn’t have to wait long for release on Self-Inflicted Aerial Nostalgia, this
one had to wait eleven years. “Taco, Buffalo, Birddog, and Jesus” deserves to
be dug out of the Suitcase and seated
amongst GBV’s best-loved songs, and not just because it has the greatest title
in the history of song titles. The way Kevin Fennell sweeps the bridge back
into the verse sweeps my heart right along with it.
6. “Running off with
the Fun City Girls” (from Mag
Earwhig! Japanese Bonus Tracks)
Here’s another crazy example of Guided by Voices sidelining
their prime material. Initially only available as a bonus track on the Japanese
edition of Mag Earwhig!, “Running off
with the Fun City Girls” is a sharp lyric in the “She’s Leaving Home” vein and
a crunching performance. A crocodile can’t bite and snap the way that bass line
bites and snaps.
5. “Teenage FBI” (from
Do the Collapse)
Mr. Pollard digs for gold in class, the students catch him,
and a modern classic comes flooding out of his nose. Psychobabble loves Do the Collapse. Psychobabble just has
to spin whenever “Teenage FBI” gets it started. I’d be picking my nose in
public from dawn to dusk if I thought it might inspire something like
this.
4. “Jane of the
Waking Universe” (from Mag Earwhig!)
A musical rocket ship, a rainbow arc to the stars, another
transcendent capsule of melody, harmonies, and guitars. I’m starting to run out
of descriptors, but not adoration of Guided by Voices’ way with a gloriously
simple pop tune.
3. “Don’t Stop Now”
(from Under the Bushes, Under the Stars)
Bob’s “Ballad of Guided by Voices” is full of inside
references (Big Daddy is the cock of the block on the cover of Devil Between My Toes),
lighters-in-the-air atmosphere, and mounting power. Guided by Voices expand
their voice to let in some chugging cello and echoing accordion. A plea to keep
the music coming, and as we near the end of this list, we need it now the most.
2. “Tractor Rape
Chain” (from Bee Thousand)
Need more songs? Take this marvel of Townshend-style
chording and evasive meaning. Is “Tractor Rape Chain” is an evocation of
environmental destruction—heavy machinery tearing up the land—or the collapse
of a relationship? The savviest writers allow their songs mean whatever means
most to you. No matter Bob’s intention, ”Tractor Rape Chain” is sad and lovely
and a chorus to make your heart heavy and burst…
1. “Auditorium/Motor
Away” (from Alien Lanes)
…then off it speeds! Heavy machinery tears up the road.
Escape. Rock & Roll storming from the AM/FM. The dream of freedom
championed by Chuck Berry, Bo Diddley, The Beach Boys, The Who, and every other
rocker who ever sang the praises of four wheels and a full tank of gas. And
there’s no way to turn the ignition of “Motor Away” without using the snappy,
suspense-ridden “Auditorium” as the key. Turn it and take off. In the words of
Bob Pollard in Guided by Voices: A Brief
History: “Motor away, man. See ya!”
See ya.
...And happy birthday, Tobin Sprout!
