I’m logging my Monster Movie Month © viewing with ultra-mini
reviews at the end of every week this October. I write it. You read it. No one
needs to get hurt.
Hellraiser (1987-
dir. Clive Barker) **
The premise of Clive Barker's adaptation of his own novella, The Hellbound Heart, is appropriately skeletal. Some dickhead stumbles into hell, and manages to escape and return to corporeal form by slaughtering the assholes his sister-in-law/sex monkey lures to him using her feminine wiles. Unfortunately, a band of mutant hell monsters miss torturing him so much that they go searching for him in the earthly realm. With its bad acting, leaden dialogue, and over-the-top gore, Hellraiser plays like a pre-teen goth's attempt to freak out his parents. Ooooh! Extreme!
Phenomena (1985- dir.
Dario Argento) ***
